The subject of our latest dairy digression (see the most recent one, too) is edible straws from Australia. This is merely the landing at the foot of the staircase.
The first stair: A cow advertises the product, presumably to make her immeasurable sacrifice meaningful. The babies she never nursed and raised fade into the blessed circle of the neverwere as she imagines children slurping up the milk intended for instantly irrelevant offspring.
The second stair: The cow, who gives milk, is male.
The third stair: Named Mort.
The fourth stair: With an udder. A big ol', flappy ol' udder proudly displayed and waggled at every opportunity.
The fifth stair, from Mort's unnecessary backstory:
Before we fell asleep, Mort said, "goot your grimbles." "What does that mean?" "I don't know," he said, "that's the point, not everything has to make sense...."With this explicit acknowledgement that we have strayed into a realm without reason, our journey is almost complete.
The last stair: And now we have reached the top. Mort reenacts the infamous gross-out Goatse internet meme.
Pluck! You won't be needing your brain way up here.
(Thanks to Dr. Kitteh for the referral.)