Thursday, December 6, 2007

Japan Whaling Association

Too long have chickens and pigs, cows and lambs—even rattlesnakes!—borne the honorable burden of holding aloft suicidefoodism's grimy, tattered banner.

Now, thanks to the beneficence of the Japan Whaling Association—do you picture men in top hats and monocles, clutching antique harpoons with scrimshaw shafts?—the giants of the deep have their shot at glory. Oh, sure, technically many species of whale are endangered. And, indisputably, whales are intelligent creatures with their own societies. But now, here, they have the option of seeking to be killed and eaten. For how long has man denied them this opportunity? For how long has man withheld from them that cherished right of all free peoples, the right of representing economic concerns dedicated to their very destruction?

The JWA means to atone.

The first cetacean gentleman (on the left), the fellow angrily holding the knife and fork, assures us that "whale meat is safe." He is affronted by the very idea that Japan's human citizens might have thought otherwise and forsworn him and his kin. That they should act as though they were better than him! Outrageous! Too good to eat whale? It's safe! Safe!

The waiter/chef to his right is more sanguine. After all, he doesn't need to convince anyone—he's already serving a willing customer. He buoyantly urges, "Let's all cook and eat me."

Good for you, whales! Before you know it, you'll have all of Japan up to their wrists in bloody whale meat. And then the sea's the limit!

(Thanks to Dr. Torque for the referral and the translation assistance.)

Addendum: Dr. Mrs. Suicidefood shows us that other Japanese whales are eager to get in on the act!


bazu said...

Oh jesus. It's hard to have a shred of human compassion for whalers.

Lisa J. said...

ugh. Just the idea of whaling deserves 5 nooses.

quackjob said...

If that whale is supposed to look happy with the knife and fork, they did a shitty job.