Smokin' Al's

Smokin’ Al, you exemplify the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle! The shades! The "and-party-every-day" attitude! The way you play to the crowd, the glare of the flames at your back!

It is here that we are reminded of the ancient Cult of the Bull, echoes of which linger even today in these so-called “modern” times. The central tenet of the cult is that, in order to attain the power and virility of the bull, you must not eat as the bull eats. Instead, you must eat the bull. It is a magical thinking that pervades the ethos of meat-eaters to this day. This brings us back to Smokin’ Al.

This pig has made himself the High Priest of a new cult, one that picks up where the old one leaves off. His purportedly cool image entices one and all with that same ancient formula: To be as cool as the pig, do not eat as the pig eats. Instead, eat the pig.

Caveat Voror: Like the backfiring wishes granted by mischievous fairies, the cool that the pig offers all his adherents is a shabby counterfeit, inauthentic and trite. Better to skip the Temple of Al, remembering the truly “cool” imagery to be found in the land of the herbivore: iceberg lettuce, winter squash, cool as a cucumber.