Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Sherwood Bar-B-Cue

The nuzzling pigs have a secret.

It's a secret so horrifying that the only medium hideous enough for it is the sign of a barbecue restaurant.

"This is why we never run out of bar-b-cue. Because we are constantly in rut, and the offspring that result—we like to call them by-products—are intended for you to eat."

A more effective argument for abstinence, or at least birth control, we can hardly imagine. (Although this is equally convincing.)

Do you see how the sow is transported, while the boar shoots us a knowing glance? It's the timeless dance of male and female essence, performed by pigs. That they play their parts knowing the outcome—confiscated and murdered children—is enough to sour us on love.

(Thanks to Dr. larrywfu for the photo.)


Tasty Morsel said...

Those pigs are not only suicidal, but they are into creating more offspring to be killed. The thought of it is disgraceful. I wonder if they are doing it for profit, self-hatred, or some kind of sick sexual gratification?

Desdemona said...

The Beatles had it:

"Everywhere there's lots of piggies, living piggie lives.
You can see them out for dinner, with their piggie wives. Clutching forks and knives, to eat their bacon!"

Anonymous said...

Desdemona, this week my program featured pigs, and I played that song during my musical break. How fitting that it was also George Harrison's birthday this week as well.

Ben, I really enjoy this blog. I never took the time to read through it, Ben, and now I realize that it is full of laughs. Ben, thanking you for sharing such wit with me.

- walrus