Thursday, May 24, 2007

Gianelli Sausage

The prancing pig is a textbook case of misdirection, familiar to all confidence men. The tutu, recalling as it does elegance, sophistication, and propriety, is a ruse. A ballet rus, if you will.

What gibbering cretins we imagine children to be! Even animated, á là classic Disney (as it is on the children's page of their website), this graphic would hardly hold the attention of a bored infant.

Ignore for the moment if you can—please, refrain from clicking the image for a larger version—the weary, haggard faces on our musicians, their shabby clothes. (Is Pigs -n- Stuff a side project of St. Mark's Soup Kitchen?) What is the purpose of this? It is brazen suicidefoodism of the worst sort!

Here, kiddies! Watch the piggies play. (The children's page also features a "talking" Babe-style pig, a couple of ballerina pigs, a fidgeting pig, a, um... looking pig, a snuffling pig, and a dinosaur or dragon fleeing in terror.) Yes, kiddies, lap it up! Pay no attention to the squeals coming from behind the curtain.

(Thanks to Dr. Alisun for the referral.)

Addendum: Another dancing pig for your, um... enjoyment? This hoofer from Bubba Lou's Bodacious Bar-B-Que is—who could disagree?—hipper than the Gianelli bunch, but he dances to the same tired tune.

Addendum 2 (9/06/08): We have received word that the "Gianelli Band Hogs" are not what they appear and were originally created for a non-pigdeath-related website, only to be snatched and put to work for other masters. The band no longer appears at the Gianelli site, which is for the best. We have been informed that the intent of the Pigs -n- Stuff band was to spread good cheer, not to shill for the pork-pushers.


krylonultraflat said...

I beg to disagree: the shades and the irradiated day-glo flesh puts our ingestible friend from Bubba Lou's in a whole new "radical" category.

Anonymous said...

I am LOVING your site; your writing is touching and very effective. Thanks for your work, I thought I was the only one bothered by this and I now see I am clearly NOT the only one!


MC said...

That latter pig seems to be suffering from Carbon Monoxide poisoning...

Anonymous said...

My favorite aspect of the Bubbalous's Bodacious Bar-B-Que pig is that on the actual sign there are three of them, dancing in sync atop the flames of a grill. Rather harkens to the Norse idea of Vahalla, where warriors who died in battle are allowed to fight wars all day and eat feasts every night, which feature pigs that gleefully roast and marinate themselves for the heroes.