Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Fictional Suicide Food Emeriti

You know them. You love them. You feel for them. They are time-honored, yet fictional, exemplars of suicidefoodism. In fact, we hereby confer upon them honorary suicide food animal status.

1. The Ameglian Major cow, who has delighted millions of readers with his "please do eat me" shtick in Douglas Adams's The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
(Image from

2. Al Capp's Shmoo, a thoroughly ingratiating species whose every impulse is to serve humanity in any way possible.
(Image from

3. Saturday Night Live's Cluckin' Chicken. He pushes the grilled chicken parts even while the blood drains from his decapitated head. Now that's dedication!

It should be noted that—in the case of the Ameglian Major cow and Clucky, at least—the characters were created as grotesque lampoons of suicide food's excesses. And so it is with a certain tenderness that we celebrate their legacy.

Thank you to the many people who nominated these fine fictional beings.


Anonymous said...

Man you show what lack of meat can do to a human brain. Come in to the 21st century.
Go get a hamburger, pick up some bacon for breakfast tomorrow and a Roast for tonight.
Hope you get well soon...!

(no more lentils only OK)

Ed said...

Clucky has got to be the all-time greatest SNL commercial. Classic! "THAT'S ME! I'M DELICIOUS!"