Monday, May 21, 2007

Franchino Ham

Granted, this image lacks the horrific impact of everyone's favorite self-harming pig, but let's hear it for a brand-new kind of horror! For this pig's diminutive size and obvious youth make for a pathos that is just as blood-curdling. Indeed, the childlike innocence is a selling point!

Can you make out the copy on the ad?

sono buono e piccolino...

"I am good and little."

Again, the principal virtue of these hams is that they fit neatly in the can! They are born ready-to-eat! The consumer need not spend precious moments in unnecessary carving and hacking! Nature has done it for them! O, Paradise of Carnivory!

The pig (piglet?) looks on benignly as his body is magically, bloodlessly sliced into servings by some unseen, benificent force. Note—as with the poor cow from Sydney—our victim sees nothing amiss in the idea that he is a foodstuff. His body is effortlessly rendered into an edible thing. He requires no preparation, no dressing, no cooking. His life has never belonged to him. And his consumers need expend not an ounce of effort. He has been delivered to them by Providence.

May we suggest a new advertising slogan?

perché sono bambini senza peccato.


(Thanks to Dr. Jessie for the referral and the photo.)


Anonymous said...

It's even worse than you thought. It's "I am good and little, I'm Franchino Ham." The piglet is personally asking for it.

Ben said...

Thanks, casey. The translation has been updated.