Friday, November 28, 2008

Cyborg Cookers

RoboCow might be only partly bovine—at the very least, his snout, horns, chest, one eye, and one arm are the real deal, so that's, what, a minimum of 75%?—but he's all violently deranged meat cooker.

Still, with his organic/mechanical essence, he is poised to be the finest example of the Submissive Dominant we have ever seen! (Here's a beneficent specimen of the form.) Submissive Dominants are creatures—ahem, creations—that use their undisputed power in service of their own destruction.

Though RoboCow has at his disposal the most formidable weapons fashioned by man and Nature, an arsenal that could take out a sizable chunk of the barbecue industry in a blast of infrared glory and bionic awesomeness, he doesn't fight.

Impossibly, this walking weapon neither resists nor revolts. No! He joins in. He lends his talents to the suicidefoodist effort, turning the steaks and keeping a robotic eye on the ribs.

Was it worth it, RoboCow? Can you remember when you frolicked in the grass, the sun on your back, your tail swishing? Is your true self forever buried beneath an unfeeling titanium alloy shell?

Is that you in there, RoboCow?

Addendum: The old-fashioned robotical style of livestock automaton. Note the barbecue fork and the single-minded pursuit of animal cooking.

Addendum 2 (11/29/08): Another one? The more rocks you turn over, the more worms you find. You recognize this motif, yes? It's the Transformer-style mecha-pig from Transformer BBQ.


Anonymous said...

It's a strange celebration of both cannibalism and blind majoritarianism.

Transformer BBQ said...

Wow... that transformer logo is AWESOME and delicious!!

Anonymous said...

... more than MEATS the eye!!!

Anonymous said...

I am sure such a fantastic logo will BEEF UP sales!!!

Anonymous said...

As bad ass that "Robo Cow" aka Steerborg looks... would have thought the carrot jackers would have gave him at the least... a 4 noose.