Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Vealantine's Day!


A veal calf, symbol of the deprivation endured by innocent "food" animals, made the spokesman for fawning, selfless love? Bah! Ebenezer Scrooge would have picked a new holiday to spurn had he seen this card.

Need it be said that the object of our calf's affection is not a dainty she-calf, or an animal rights activist? Nor even an animal welfare activist? Nor anyone remotely concerned with his well-being? But instead, of all things, a farm boy, agent of the system established to destroy generations of "veal" calves?

O, calumny! O, outrage!

Never before have we seen innocence itself so trampled, much as the calf symbolically tramples his own heart. (Do these offenses against purity come close?) Childhood is here targeted. And reason. And wisdom. And every other good and gracious quality we hope to find in the hearts of mankind.

The intended message: The calf forgives you and wants only the requital of his love. Yes, you read that right. The calf forgives you.

We like to imagine this on the back of the card:
Muscles are red,
Lung tissue is blue.
Eat me up now
And keep me with you.
Please suggest your own (in)appropriate rhymes in our comments section.

(Thanks to Dr. Mac for the referral. Image source.)


bazu said...

roses are red
violets are blue
I'm so anemic
I have an unhealthy whitish hue

Anonymous said...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
When I get out of this crate
I'll be meat for you