Bacön Takedown

A cute animal, the Iron Maiden font, wings, senseless destruction in the offing. Yes, we've been here before: A year ago, we profiled a lamb receiving the same "takedown" treatment.

The pig is thrilled to be the guest of honor at an event dedicated to dismantling him like an old kitchen appliance. Amid the flames, he smiles. He positively beams. It's all for him! They've come for him! To carve him up and celebrate the crispness of his smoked and cured meat. The intimacy, the acceptance... It's almost too much for our pig to take. His heart is bursting with blessings. Temporarily.

What the pig doesn't see or cannot credit is the bristling anti-pig attitude of his public. They have gathered to take him down a peg, to mete out mob justice for some invisible crime. Somehow, the pig doesn't see it coming.

We have to ask—and hope not to receive an answer—how many other adorable animals are lining up for similar takedowns? How far does this movement go? Will we be seeing a tough-guy veal calf? A sideburned chick? No, really, don't tell us.