Thursday, October 7, 2010

Pork Rinds, a retrospective

It's the quaintest obscurantism in the suicidefoodist canon: pork rinds. As though pigs are, what? Melons? Do melons smile like that? Dream or hope like that? Ha!

This rogues' gallery of fiercely oblivious spokespigs represents a soaring low-point in the annals of meaninglessness. Somehow—and we agree that this lacks a consistent logic—the sight of pigs extolling the virtues of their own fried skin is worse than pigs talking up their own cooked meat. It's more desperate. More depraved.

The very idea of pork rinds is so revolting, it's a wonder we haven't discussed them more often. In fact, the last time was more than eight months ago. So.

Welp! No more stalling.

The entire breadth of pigkind has turned out to support the proposition that their skin makes a convenient and appetizing snack. The top-hatted captain of industry, the dancing fool, the simple country soul, even the cowboy atop his docile flying buffalo—all pigs, from the lowliest to the loftiest, give the nod to pork rinds!

Addendum: If you can bear it, revisit our discussion of the most horrendously named product in the field of pork skin offerings. Yes, even worse than Microwave Pork Puffies (see above), but just by a hair.


Anonymous said...

That's a lot of pork rinds. In my omnivorous days, I'd eat just about anything, and the greasier and fattier the better. I was in a pub in England and decided to try the pork rinds (or they may have been "cracklings"). I seriously seriously regretted the one bite I took. Urg.

Anonymous said...

In Britain these things are called Pork Scratchings, which is a more appropriate name than the rather bland Pork Rinds. Whilst I am a sucker for a good pork banger or boiled bacon joint, I do draw the line at a snack that still has the animal's hair on it: I have never had a Pork Scratching (or Rind) in my life, and don't intend to.

Dr Paul