Saturday, March 15, 2008

Bob's Smoke Stack Ribs

Look out! A porciform demon is emerging through a portal into our earthly dimension!

Built of pain, he scoffs at the flames that would crisp his skin! He is a vision of vile pollution, a living, smog-filled corpse! When he…

Hold on.

Is that…? It is. That's a pig.

Sorry about that. But the blue pall. The monobrow. The preoccupied gaze. We can be forgiven for misreading the situation, for failing to see in this scene a plain, mortal pig.

But it's indisputable. There he is, lounging in the midst of a jolly fire. At ease. As unperturbed as any suicide food ever was.

He's happy to die for you, to suffer for you—of course!—but he does seem an odd choice for a mascot.

Still, while the singed, cyanotic pig is less than attractive, it might not even matter: Have you ever seen flesh hunks so formless? So impoverished of spirit? Oh, the temptation! To sink one's teeth into such stolid, petulant meat clods! With food like this, you don't need a pretty logo. The food does all the talking for you.

Incidentally, in the Bob's Smoke Stack Ribs hell-boar pig, we have a new title-holder in our long-running Ugly Appetite Killer competition!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'll never understand how that second image is supposed to encourage people to eat meat. In my weaker moments, it's images like that which have reminded me why I chose this life, and love it.

I thank you for keeping my will strong, and my stomach weak.