Cedar Hill Neighborhood Cook-Off

Cedar Hill, in (we believe) upstate Suicidefood, is a downright neighborly place.

They've got themselves a neighborhood cook-off, for one thing. For another, they've got the neighborliest host this side of… say, Cedar Junction.

You step right up, you tell the Ultimate Victim Neighbor what you crave, and, quick as a wink, he gets you taken care of. Ribs? Hotdogs? Whatever you like. Naturally, he steers you away from the burgers. And, not wanting to offend him by turning down the flesh of his fellows, you skip the beef.

We all know what the highlight of the event is, right? The pig impaling himself on the tines of his prodigious stabber thing? It's only the courteous thing to do.