Chinese Microwave

Now this bird—seen here on the door of a Chinese microwave—is spunky! Talk about overachieving! The wink, the thumbs-up: It would be an insult not to cook and eat him!

He got himself killed and plucked (it takes a special animal to do all that for little ol' you). Then he dressed up (and, presumably, hired someone to tie his bow tie) and arranged himself on a plate of, um... On a plate of... What is that, anyway? Frogs' legs? Felt? A deflated novelty blow-up pineapple? (If anyone could get his "hands" on one of those, it would have to be this go-getter!)

Anyway, the finishing touch, the final flourish, is the convenient grid of guide marks he etched into his body. This way, as soon the microwave beeps and you remove his carcass, you'll know exactly where to cut for an optimal dining experience.

Has any suicidal animal gone so far out of his way to reassure his consumer? (Apart from these little dears.) All this effort, just to smooth the poor meat-eater's brow and kiss away his misgivings.

(Thanks to Dr. Dan for the referral.)