It's not Christmas without all the trappings of the season. The holly, the scent of nutmeg, and Rudolph the Dead Ghost Reindeer and his collection of lurid red reindeer steaks!Many of Santa's flying friends are here, in post-life, food form: Vixen sirloin, Prancer porterhouse, Rudolph round steak, and the others.
If you look closely you can even see Saint Nick, that elfin old ghoul, sneaking around with his sack in one hand and a bloody slab of reindeer meat in the other!
If you look closely you can even see Saint Nick, that elfin old ghoul, sneaking around with his sack in one hand and a bloody slab of reindeer meat in the other!
We can only assume that the Naughty/Nice split has become complicated in these modern times. The Nice get toys, the Naughty get coal, and the Unspeakable get raw meat that once had a name!
That this gag (you ain't kidding!) is in the service of yuletide festivities sends a chill up our spine.
Anyone who shops at IKEA will notice that they sell reindeer salami around this time of year. I wrote to complain - not seeing why entering a furniture store should net one an eyeful of dead reindeer - and was fobbed off with a courteous letter explaining that their Swedish identity is very important to them, it's traditional S. fare etc. I guess Santa needs to retire his faithful sledge-pullers from time to time.
ReplyDeleteHave an excellent (as much as one can in this cruel world) 2010, Suicide Food!
Wow! yeah, it's Christmas and still no Santa I see nor meet, I want his reindeer with me roaming around. :-)
ReplyDeleteThen one foggy Christmas Eve
ReplyDeleteSanta came to say:
"Rudolph with your blood so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
Then all the slaughterers loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-meat reindeer,
you'll go down in my tummy!
All together now!
ReplyDeleteI think this merits more than one noose -- I'd put it at three nooses or so.
ReplyDeleteJulian, on your behalf, I submitted your thoughts to the Suicide Food Board of Appeals.
ReplyDeleteTheir response, in toto:
"No."
The thing is, while it's disturbing, it would only get more nooses if it were something like Rudolf advertising reindeer meat, am I right?
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